A Letter For You

Dear Orin,

A couple days ago. we celebrated your six month birthday. It is hard for me to digest that half a year has gone by since your birth. Life is moving so fast right now that it feels like I could blink and miss a week. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night, my mind overflowing with things that I wanted to tell you, scattered thoughts I have had over the last couple months. Thoughts that have never fit cleanly into a blog entry, but that I still think you should know.

Before you were born, I spoke with a lot of people and read countless books about parenting. I was thoroughly warned about how hard it would be in the beginning... the stress of being a first time parent: trying to figure out why your baby was crying all the time; attempting to remain calm and clearheaded through serious sleep deprivation; adjusting your life to a whole new rhythm to accommodate your baby. I heard all about how there would be times when I would want to scream and cry and run away. I was told it would be okay, that I should just know everybody goes through it... it would all turn out alright in the end. 

But it wasn't like that at all. 

From day one, you slept like an angel. Yes, you always got me up at night... every two to three hours... and you still do, but you just want to be fed and changed and then you immediately fall back to sleep. I have never had to battle you to go back to bed, so getting up every couple hours hasn't been so bad. There have been very few mornings in the last 6 months when I have woken up tired and I can't remember one that could have been blamed on you.

You are also incredibly easy to read. You cry when you are hungry or hurt. You fuss when you are bored or dirty. Thats it. There was a time for a couple of weeks in the very beginning that you would cry at night and I wasn't quite sure why, although I think it was from tummy pains. But that stage came and went without any major scarring and there has been nothing like it since. We have an understanding. When you cry, I figure out what is wrong and fix it. You don't cry often.

You go everywhere with us. If I have counted right, you have been to 17 states since you were born. We go to concerts, restaurants, museums... people have come up to us and said "good for you getting out of the house with the baby, I know how hard that can be." It isn't. Because its you.

We never hesitate to include you in things. You are (almost) always very well-behaved. The pictures that we have taken of you do not show how much you smile. Up until about a week ago, you flat out refused to smile when there was a camera around. We always had to trick you to get you to smile for the camera. But when the cameras are out of sight you smile at everything. And you love to cougar... that's your special thing. It makes everybody laugh.

You love to play. You like to be tossed up in the air. You scream and laugh when we swing you upside-down. Every time you are in someone's lap, you want to be bouncing... always bouncing and singing. Your daddy holds you like a football and runs with you around the house. You can't get enough of it. You like to grab me by the cheeks and pull my face towards you and then scream at me. I scream back at you and you laugh. People think that we are nuts. We don't care.

You do not have a bedtime. You do not have a nap time. You fall asleep wherever you are when you get tired. The more noise it the background, the better. You love to sleep with blankets pulled over your face, even when the lights are off. I let you fall asleep like that and then I go and dig a little tunnel to your face so that you will get enough air. When you sleep too long, I miss you. 

If you could, you would eat everything. You love to sit on our laps during mealtimes and try to steal our food before it gets to our mouths. We don't let you. 

You defy the normal baby convention: you do not like your car seat. At all. The whole drive-around-the-block-till-he-sleeps wouldn't work with you. But we never try to get you to sleep anyway. 

You teach me something new every day. 

Like how there is absolutely no limit to a mother's love. It grows with each passing day... every moment that I spend with you is a blessing. I feel privileged to have watched you grow these last 6 months... being there to witness your eyes open for the first time, seeing your first smile, hearing your first laugh, watching you grow and learn everyday. It has been, without a doubt, the best 6 months of my life. And I have you to thank. 

So thank you for being such an amazing person. Thank you for redefining love for me. Thank you for all of the moments we have spent together and all the ones to come. Thank you for being you. I love you from the bottom of my heart. 

Love, 

Your Mother